Sunday, November 6, 2011

transparency


i believe there is a gift in transparency
in living a life where
we share our struggles as well as our victories
where we
celebrate and document
the small mundane bits of daily life
along with the milestones.
i believe that everyone
is beautiful and worthy and valuable.

regardless of their strenghts, their weaknesses.
actually,
sometimes what an outsider may percieve to
be a weakness may actually be a strenght
in the making
or a strenght that we have deemed wonderful
may actually be hiding a weakness that is yet to be
grown up and strenghtened.

i know that there is a danger in being transparent
because we all come to each other
with preconceived ideas, with different values and beliefs.
some of us are quick to hide our fears with judgement
some of us are unable to deal with tough stuff
because of where we are at in our lives.
some of us believe that someone like me
might just be making too big of a deal about things.

i choose to live a transparent life
because for a long time i didn't.
i pretended.
i lied.
i didn't consider my story to matter.
to be valuable
because i wasn't valuable.
i choose to share my story
through this blog,
through connections with individuals,
through my fb status
(how wierd is the fb connection hey..it can be so positive or so, so messy)
through journalling
and art making
i choose vulnerability
because i believe it is the best way
to navigate this life and to live a life that is a blessing to others.
this is important to me.
i want to be a blessing to others
during the rich times of my life
 and
 the barren times.

it is also hard for me.
i worry about what people think about me.
i worry about what people say about me
i worry about what people assume about me.
but that needs to change.
i need to stop caring so much
and continue to be the person i am
regardless.
i need to stop avoiding
people because i am
fearful
of their reactions towards me.



this week,
this blog is going to be very transparent.
i trust you with my heart.

3 comments:

  1. I love this my new friend. I love the risk you are taking. I wish you all the best.

    And thank you, thank you for your kindness and love on my blog post today. I can't tell you what it meant to me... you brought me to tears... in the best way.

    XOXO Erin

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  2. Dear Tania,
    Your story matters to me and is such a blessing. I appreciate your vulnerability and transparency - I aim for that.
    I like how you used a leaf picture - since this time of year, leaves on the ground will eventually become so transparent as they decompose. I also need to let the worries of 'what people say/think/assume/judge' decompose transparently too (and prepare the ground for new growth :)
    You are beautiful, worthy, and valuable - and your transparency will allow your light to shine even brighter and the wisdom you offer to become even clearer to everyone around you (and to us blog followers :)
    xxoo Tracy

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  3. love you both...thank you for your words and your love..

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