prickly thorns

i have been treating myself poorly these past few days..

prickly thoughts to myself and unkind words about myself to my family

and i am noticing that when

i speak and think unkindly towards myself

i become prickly to the people around me...

the ones that are closest to me at least...

i figure that when i become aware of a problem

it must be getting pretty bad because i don't know about you

but i tend to live in a bit of denial about who i truly am.

so,

i have become aware of the negative self thought

and self talk and that it is spilling over into my home life.

and also i am becoming  aware of the fact that i am actually

being a bit of a pill to my dear husband.

so,

i have decided to pay attention to my wise self

who is telling me to

be gentle, and loving, and graceful

and forgiving

towards myself.

i am trying to listen to my wise self

who is telling me

that i hurt more than myself when

i berate myself, or devalue myself

i am hurting those whom i love very much

and those who love me very much.

i am going to work hard

at stripping the prickles from my self talk

and instead

think gently about who i am.

i have a quote beside my computer that says

"only speak words that make souls stronger"

and i try hard to practice this with those around me

but i haven't been practicing it with myself at all.

so today

i am starting again.

today

i am telling myself that i am an alright person.

i am pretty good at my job..

and i am great at juggling the demands of my life

i also take a decent photo

and i can keep my white couch pretty white!

there.

that's enough

without making me feel uncomfortable!

be kind to yourself today dear readers!

(and no, i don't know why there is a wierd square in the photo.)