March 31^st  2011 Blog #30 

Confessions and dreams of a middle age woman  

Dear Tania

I like your question…

The first ritual I think of is church… more specifically the liturgical church… like the one we are at. I like rituals built into it that have been going for 500 years.. or longer. They help me connect to something outside of my own culture and dial into something that is solid and connected to the past. Past Christians.. even Calvin and Luther who I admire and respect. One of my heroes. Of course I would like some things more to update… in particular incorporating modern worship and projectors… but I do value the rituals.

In my own day, I guess a ritual is that I come down and open the computer up and read the email devotionals sent to me. But you have made me think.. Because lacking from that ritual is the prayer that should go with it… hmmm I need to make that happen.

Sitting down this morning I realized that I did not take my medicine... a new ritual I must do. Have never had to meds before.

A ritual I’ve always wanted to do but have never succeeded in, is to drink a glass of water before my meals… silly eh.

I’m not sure that I have any others… rituals I guess can be like boundaries and I struggle with creating those for myself. Doing things in routine or with the same discipline… I guess that is why I struggle with blogging and journaling. I’ve tried it at least 50 times but have yet to do it routinely, or with discipline. I guess that’s what makes this blogging so important to my life. It’s a routine/ritual/discipline that I am forcing myself to continue and not stop. It’s only because I am accountable to you that it works!

Does accountability fit in here? Is that the sister to ritual? Is that the part that helps ritual work? Being accountable to someone, something, other than ourselves? Perhaps that is why I struggle with routine so much. I’m not accountable to others for what I do.. just myself. And obviously I’m an easy pushover. Hmmm need to think about that so more.

Have a good day Tania. I need to help Savannah get a train ticket today to go home. I miss Abby in Belize… Having some fun adult times with Hannah. And Elijah… well that’s another days talk..lol..